With all the things I create, sew, quilt, make... etc, it's quite ironic that the other domestic things like cooking, cleaning, decorating, etc are scattered at best. Now it's not that I don't have these things within me but after a lot of introspection lately, I've found fear to be the main culprit that has been blocking my inner Martha.
I know how to cook. I don't burn things and I follow recipes well. I know how to clean and organize tasks into days of the week; but it's never had much consistency. So what happened?
If you don't care, just scroll down a little to the pretty pictures...
Long story short, in my first marriage my now ex-husband and I purchased a house. I lived there about 6 months. In those 6 months I worked hard to make it into the "perfect" home; one he would want to live in. And then I lost it all when it became clear that I was the other woman in my own marriage. I was pregnant too. I drove away with a car full of clothes and a few other things. My dogs, my things, most of my furniture, they were all left behind.... so was my dream of a home and the work I had put into it that didn't seem to be perfect or even close to good enough. I had failed.
I have now been married to Steve for 5 years and what we have is awesome. It's been an amazing 5 years! We are stable and secure. All the old fears in marriage are far behind me. The one fear remaining was my own and while irrational, it was also very real to me. The little things like cooking, cleaning, even grocery shopping were painful reminders of the devastation in my past.
Several weeks ago I became enamored with vintage Pyrex. Steve gave me some good natured grief but the comment that he made of, "but you don't cook" really resonated with me. In large part, he was right. That started me thinking and gave the the encouragement to deal with the one lingering fear from my past marriage.
Two weeks ago I decided that it would be fun to go to the farmer's market. I cooked and baked with the fruits and vegetables we purchased. This past weekend I made a blackberry cobbler and banana blueberry muffins for an easy breakfast during the week. Sunday night Steve and I made lunches to take to work. Monday night we cooked again. Last night Steve grilled and I made a peach cobbler when I got home from work... you get the idea.
I'm cooking again and I'm loving it. I have missed it so much! Steve is a wonderful cook and I love cooking alongside him. I'm happy with myself and I think Steve and Chaney are pretty pleased too. I'm no longer a feral wife; I'm domesticated! ;)
Where the heck is the quilting and fabric in this post??
I know, I know. I hear you thinking that... me too. If you've made it this far, thanks for bearing with me!
After dinner, I headed up to my sewing room with an old hand towel. I cut it down a bit and made this quilted mat. Our kitchen has a lot of red accents in it so the chairs are perfect. And seriously, what could be more perfect for dishes than fabric with dishes?!
I brought it back downstairs and while we were eating dessert, Steve noticed it and I asked him if he knew what it was... I'm always worried about making something and people not knowing what it is!
He replied, "a dish rug". Well played, dear.
I guess he was listening to my babbling about mug rugs after all! He's a keeper and not just because he knows quilting terminology. He is also infinitely patient and has taught me so much about unconditional love because there is no perfect.
And really, if we were all perfect we wouldn't need unconditional love which to me, is the best kind there is...
Thanks for following along today. I know I got a little wordy but I'm pretty excited about all this and wanted to put it into words. As a reward for sticking with me, I wrote a little tutorial for this dish rug that I'll share tomorrow!