Monday, May 23, 2011

I just might be...

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... easing back into things.

Again, thank you all for your kind words, prayers, emails and encouragement!  Knowing that I am not alone has been so important because depression seems to be quite good at convincing you that you are absolutely and desperately alone.  But I'm not.

I did see my Dr. and I also had a good visit with a therapist to work on stress management.  My stress level is still high but I'm doing what I can to manage that.  I've taken some things off my plate and focused on ways to de-stress.  The other thing that has helped me relax... embroidery. 

Embroidery is very forgiving.  There isn't any math.  No precise seams.  No racing a quilt under your machine while working to avoid quilting yourself to the quilt or sewing through a finger... all while making sure your stitches are perfect and without thread globs on the back of the quilt.  But embroidery... just trace the pattern or draw it and choose your colors and your stitches as you go.  Amazing.

Yesterday was our 5th wedding anniversary.  Can I just tell you what an amazing guy Steve is?  I am so blessed to have him.  Chaney and I both are.  And it was so cute; Chaney was up at 6 am yesterday morning making anniversary cards and presents for us.  I love how she, in her own way, recognizes what we have and celebrates it with us. 

The traditional gift for the 5th anniversary is wood so I got creative.  I guess you could count the wood hoop as the gift but what I was really after were the tree rings.  At first Steve thought it was a maze.  So if you don't see it at first, don't feel bad. ;)

I started out with plans of just embroidery but I couldn't resist adding some fabric too.  I blanket stitched around the raw edges and I'm pleased with how it turned out.

I can't promise that I'm back completely but I'm working on it.  Thanks again for all your support.  It means the world to me.


A.J. Dub. said...

That is a really cool and special anniversary gift! Nice job!
And I am glad you are feeling a little better.

summerfete said...

So glad you are on the way up!
Congrats on your 5th anniversary, and how cute is your embroidery.

I've just remembered, quite often when I'm depressed, I feel totally useless, so I made myself a 'happy book',where I write, draw, collage, all the things I am good at.
So if I ever get low I have something to remind me who I am..thankfully I havent had to look at it for a while.

Clare x

Elisa Black said...

I absolutely love it!! What a wonderful anniversary gift-- sweet, thoughtful and homemade. I love the idea of the tree rings for the years you've spent together. I remember during graduate school taking a child development class and we had to sort of chart our interpretation of our own development and I used that same analogy (using crayons, markers and pencils). I'm glad you found pleasure in embroidery and your anniversary project is wonderful. Glad, also, that you saw your doctor and working with a therapist on stress management. Take it easy and take it slow. Good luck!

Kwilt Noob said...

Atta girl! You are on the right track, keep it up, and be good to yourself! :)

Elsa said...

I'm so glad that you're feeling a tad bit better. Sometimes I think one just needs to acknowledge what's going on and it somehow gets better. I heard something somewhere ~ it's the 3 A's ~ awareness, acceptance and action. Not always easily achieved, but when it is, it's amazing.

Poppyprint said...

I knew what it was right away and it's so creative. Happy Anniversary! I'm glad you are taking the time you need to be well, and have found embroidery to be a comfort. I love it, too.

Kiera said...

What a great and creative gift. So unique. Glad you're doing better. I keep you in my prayers! Happy Anniversary!

Kirsty@Bonjour said...

Love it- what a clever and unique design. Glad that you are still finding joy in your sewing, and who cares if it's not quilting. Have fun and take your time!

Kristie said...

What a thoughtful and adorable anniversary gift :-) Glad to see you are smart enough to reach out and get the help you need, as well as able to see the good things in your life like your family. You are on your way!

Linda said...

Just come back a little at a time until you're ready. We'll be waiting for you!
Happy Anniversary!(Just wait until you reach your 40th! It gets better and better if you just weather each storm!)

felicity said...

What a gorgeous gift - happy anniversary!

liz said...

Jennifer, I'm so happy to read that you are starting to feel better. I don't know if your improvement is partially due to anti-depressant medication but it saved my life. IRL, and here in cyber-space, I have no issues with telling anyone and everyone that I take Zoloft and how very much it has helped me!

If you don't find yourself feeling truly WELL soon, and you are on an anti-depressant, I hope that your doctor will keep prescribing different ones for you to try until you feel great. there is nothing like having the lethargy and mental fog disappear!

Word of caution: when my pharmacy started giving me generic instead of brand name, I felt lousy. Now my doc writes "do not substitute" on the prescriptions and it's all good.

Best of luck to you, and keep on embroidering if that helps. I love your gift for your dh!

annieb said...

So glad you are fighting your way back. Good luck and be good to yourself.

Paula said...

What a way to go Jennifer!!! You're such a brave woman. I'm very happy you're recovering!!! And must admit, sewing/quilting/embroidering IS healing.
Glad you're back! Much love, xoxo

Tamie said...

Hang in there. I have found that mine comes in waves- kind of two steps forward, one back. At least it is usually in a forward direction overall. Happy Anniversary. Mine is this week- 27 years- and I have found that someone who is supportive is huge.

Home Designs by Amanda said...

Great idea with the tree rings! Thanks for sharing!

Hands Sew Full said...

Good for you! Finding your way through depression is not easy, I have done it and my hubby is in the middle of it. It is a journey, not a destination. So glad your family is there for you, it makes a world of difference having support!

audreypawdrey said...

I love the tree rings! That is a great gift for wood, and you can use it to remember the day by too. I love it. I am glad you are feeling a little better, and I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and hope the fog lifts soon. You are most definitely not alone.

Victoria Paige @ Boutique Uniquely said...

I'm glad you're feeling a little better. That is no small feat. It's a constant struggle. I completely understand and no, you are not alone.

momof3 said...

I am so glad to hear you are starting to turn around, just don't push yourself. Ease into things.
I love your embroidery. What a great "wood" gift. Congrats on 5years, hope you both have many more together!!

Live a Colorful Life said...

Your embroidery is awesome. Aren't you truly amazed at tree rings? We have a landscape designer, John, who rents a cabin at Huntington Lake from us every summer for about three weeks. In the last couple of years we have had to have big tree removed (by order of the National Forest Service--and you can't argue with them!). Anyway, at the end of the season,John started counting the rings on one of the stumps, did a little math, and figured the tree was from the 1700s! So cool.

Congrats to you and Steve.

stitchinpenny said...

Don't rush yourself, but I am so glad that you see the light at the end of this tunnel.

Ginger said...

Jennifer I'm so happy to hear you are doing better!!! I love the embroidered gift you made Steve. It's so precious and personal. Chaney getting up early and making presents and cards for y'all is so sweet. What a wonderful family you have. I am praying for peace and recovery for you. So glad to hear about the positive things you have done to help yourself. You are on the right track!!!
Ginger in Abilene

miamihoney said...

Seems like the perfect anniversary gift. I missed your last post but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Best wishes as you adjust some things in your life to make it a better one!

Marit said...

love your stitches!
; )

piece peace said...

That must be the very best anniversary present ever. It is lovely. Please continue to focus on your self with respect to the depression. You are definitely not alone! Smiles.

Melissa said...

Happy Anniversary! I'm celebrating mine this week, too.

I've been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. I know from experience how frustrating depression can be. Hang in there.

AMKreations said...

Definitely thinking of you! Take your time...and DESTRESS for sure! Love the embroidery and Happy Anniversary! =)

Gabriela - Living La Vida Normal said...

Very creative gift. Glad to see you're feeling better.

Madame Samm said...

you ease in as much as you can...way to go a!...seems like yesterday I the embroidery..been doing it for sometime..every quilt I have made I have added embroidery to it...I must say the most relaxing next to hand quilting that I have ever done...xx

Beth said...

So very glad to hear from you. Rest assured that when you're away, many loving thoughts are sent in your direction. I am sure there are a few of us who are experiencing sadness or hard times, and knowing that we're all reaching out together, forming a circle of sorts, lifts my heart. Hope it does yours, as well.

I love the wooden cross-cut embroidery. We live in a house surrounded by old cedar trees. I'm going to "borrow" your idea, and will think of you as I stitch and daydream...

gentle hugs to you--
in Oregon

John'aLee said...

How creative you are!
Hope you are feeling better. Have you ever read the book Simple Abundance by Sarah ban Breathnach? If not go get it from the library or buy it. I am re-reading it after 15 years and should be a must read for all overwhelmed women.

Anonymous said...

I struggle with stress a lot and have physical ailments because of it. I've found that meditation helps me SO much. I've never been a new age-y type person, but I actually learned it through a stress management class at my hospital and I've stuck with it and it really, really helps a lot. Helps me to slow down and just be, let go of the things that swim around in my mind, getting my worked up. Maybe something to look into. Wish you well and sending love!

Gmama Jane said...

Sweetheart, you are not alone! So many young mothers your age are feeling the pressure to have it all and do it all perfectly. Life just isn't that perfect and allowing yourself the freedom of being yourself is a wonderful attribute. I'm 58, married 38 yrs. 3 grown children and 5 Grandchildren...a lot of water under my bridge and with God's Grace I've learned to like ME. Slow down, Breathe, and enjoy the little moments of everyday with your precious child. Embroidery is an excellent destresser as is knitting. I don't knit but the experts suggest knitting as a way to turn off your brain and just "BE".
Gmama Jane

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