Monday, May 16, 2011

A Break...

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Ok, so I'm having to do it.  I need a break.  I'm sorry for the double post today but I just don't feel like I can put it off any longer.

I've been fairly open about my struggles with depression lately but I'll just lay it out there... I feel awful.  Steve and I have some tremendously stressful things going on in our life {we are fine!} that have brought my underlying depression to the forefront.  What used to be manageable has become a crushing burden.

I have a family, I have a job, I have clients, I have friends, I coach a softball team and I find myself forcing a happy face so much of the time these days.  I also find myself feeling like I have to put on a happy blogging face here as well and something has gotta give.

I get so frustrated with myself because I can't just feel better.  But as I sat in church this past weekend {in tears} it became quite ironic to me that I wouldn't keep going and doing if I was physically sick but there I sat feeling awful.  If I had the flu, I wouldn't be sitting there in church.  If I had a stomach bug I wouldn't be sitting there at dinner pretending that I'm fine while my stomach churns and lurches. 

So why is this different?  I suppose because depression isn't understood like a stomach bug is... I suppose because everyone has had the flu but maybe not depression... I suppose because there are some that think it's something that I just need to get over... and then I suppose there are those who worry that it's catching.  I don't really know but I do wish, like I said in my earlier post, that it wasn't such a hush-hush subject.

With all that being said, I need a break.  Some time to sew or not sew.  Some time to not worry about blog traffic, posting, photographing, etc.  Some time to find myself and ways to better manage my stress.  Some time to breathe and heal.

I realize that putting this out there might make me more vulnerable because I can't be silly and believe that everyone reads here with the purest of intentions.  I know that this might make me a target for the smile-and-suck-it-up crowd to tell me to do just that, suck it up.  But I know that my quilting and my feelings are tightly intertwined and I can't pretend anymore.  I also know that I'm not the only one so if anything, I hope that being open about where I'm at might help even one reader feel a little less alone.

So if you don't mind, give me a week or so and I promise that I'll be back.  Ya'll are the best!

126 comments:

Mary on Lake Pulaski said...

Take care of YOU.

Jennifer Rodriguez said...

BIG GIANT HUGS! Girl, you take all the time you need. We have so much pressure in our world as Superwomen, it's no wonder we aren't all in tears.

I recently went through a similar experience brought on by having 2 kids under the age of 4.


You should NOT suck it up. You should recenter and find your happiness. You should surrond yourself with those love you wether there is a smile or tears on your face.

You don't owe the blogging community any explanation. You owe yourself happiness.

Go find it..

XOXO

The Tulip Patch said...

I will miss you and selfishly and Unselfishly hope you are better soon. I myself am starting bio identical progesterone at the suggestion of a "secret ministry" in our church. You could have hormone issues compounding depression. I'll let you know if it helps me. Prayin for ya sister!

Pinkadot Quilts said...

Only you know how you really feel, listen to that voice and take care of you. You can come back ready to blog when it feels right. Best of luck to you.

Greta said...

Take care of yourself, we will all be here when you get back. I want to say that even though I am a new follower of your blog, I really appreciate your openness. It is good to know that I'm not alone sometimes. Wishing you all the best.

Bree said...

I've never been much one for pretending... hope you can find a real smile inside of you soon! :)

Kwilt Noob said...

Take all the time you need and know for darn sure that you are not alone. I'll bet there were ten other women at church on Sunday feeling the same way you did. If you haven't called your doctor (my gyn. probably saved my marriage!), call soon. The best news is this is manageable! Check back in when you feel better and give us an update!

noga quilts said...

Dear Jennifer, you are so brave, I feel for you. Please go and look after yourself, do what needs to be done, and come back when you get better! All my heartfelt wishes for your full recovery.

Darlene Gerber said...

Jennifer,

You have to do what is best for you and your family. Quilting has really helped me fight off depression over the last couple years. It gives me a creative outlet and goals to achieve, instead of just laying in bed or watching TV. I really hope you come out this feeling stronger.

Darlene at www.iquiltscarletandgray.blogspot.com

Poppyprint said...

If it takes a week, a month, or a year, we'll be here when you return. The blog is a big commitment requiring a lot of time and effort. Taking a stated break is a great step in focusing on your health and well-being. All the best.

Clara {Clover and Violet} said...

Take care and hope you feel some pressure lifted!

Goneaussiequilter said...

I hope you can feel better. Take care of yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help from people. Remember, it's a gift to be able to help people as much as it is to be helped by someone. Reach out, ask for help and take control. You are awesome and you can do anything:)

JanetK said...

bleh - depression (and anxiety) really stinks. I hope your break is relaxing. With all you do, I hope that blogging break won't be the only one you are able to take. Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself like you would your best friend...

Natalie said...

take care of YOU! we'll be here when you get back. Did you ever get tested for vitamin D deficiency?

Anita said...

Two weeks ago I was the one sitting and crying so I do understand. No judgment here and I so appreciate your honesty and openness. I wish you the best and that moment when things turn around to the upswing.

SewHappyGeek said...

I agree with the above comment suggesting you see a Dr. I have bipolar disorder and have fought depression for 20 years. The best thing you can do is get a bit of help. No shame in it!
And take all the time you need! No one is going to cancel their subscription because you go on a hiatus! And if they did, good riddance! If you need someone to shoot over a weekly post for a while, let me know, k? I'll help out with whatever I can. Just ask.

felicity said...

Please, Jennifer, take the time that you need to heal. To use your analogy, if you had a terrible stomach flu, you'd rest until you felt better. So do the same now. I can't believe ANYONE would sniff that you should suck it up but unfortunately, people's capacity for asshattery always suprises me.

Take care!

Effie said...

Just take time to get well......everything passes eventually, the world will still be here when you feel better.

Melanie said...

Take all the time you need! I do feel the need to echo other commenters by saying please think about getting some professional help, if you don't already. Depression is serious, and not something you can shrug off or "suck up"! In the meantime, enjoy yourself! It will all be here when you return!

Jeane said...

I am so sorry you are feeling so down. You take the time you need, and I will check in once in a while because I love your blog. Depression hits everyone at some time and some level and everyone deals with it differently. You are so right to take this time for you and your family and I hope you feel better real soon. Hugs

Paula said...

Take care of you!

www.sewrayme.co.uk said...

Well done for being so honest, I can't imagine it was easy hitting the 'publish' button on that post! No-one thinks any less of you for feeling this way - quite the opposite, it takes a lot of guts to admit when you're struggling.

Take the time out to take care of yourself and your loved ones and allow THEM to take care of YOU.

We all look forward to hearing from you again when life seems more manageable.

Laura said...

If you were physically sick so that it was affecting every aspect of your life, you would go to a doctor. I think a doctor could help you with your depression too. Wishing you the best!

Jodi said...

I feel for you, my blogging sister! I can truly relate - depression runs in my husband's family, and I'm peri-menopausal now with extreme ups and downs. Just know that I will be praying for you and hope you "feel" better soon! Take good care! xoxo

Amy said...

I hope that your break helps you to focus on what really matters for you right now. We will be here later!

Beverly said...

I struggle as well so I understand where you're coming from. Do what you need to do to feel better. I'll be sending positive energy your way.

Siuan @ Snowbound said...

Do what feels right to take care of you. I've just recently(a few months ago) come back to blogging after being away because of depression, my blogging has changed and it took a long time to feel right again. I'm not 100% but on my way. I don't do meds since it's more mild. I hope you get the peace you need.

yorkie mom said...

Prayers, good thoughts and healing to you. Allison

Dawnmarie said...

There's been a lot of great advice, but I just want to express support. Take the time you need. Google reader will tell me when you're back. You deserve to be happy, do whatever you need, and take however long you need. Most of all, don't feel guilty about it. Take care and remember that you have family and friends who love you.

BijouxBaby said...

Good for you for being open about your depression. I've been there a couple of times. It's so hard to admit that you can't do it by yourself anymore and that you need help. I hope your journey to wellness is swift.

traceyjay said...

Take care of yourself, and Godspeed to peace and light entering all your emotions...

Cecily said...

So glad to hear an authentic voice, even if you're going through a rough patch. I wish you a peaceful journey and hope you can find happiness again. Take good care of yourself!

Jo said...

You do what you need to do for yourself and your family first. Don't ever feel the need to justify it. It is wonderfull having your blog to read but not at the expence of your health and happiness. Go take care of yourself, and when you are feeling better if you want to come back, if you feel it would be to much for you to come back to blogging don't do it but know you will be missed.

Tanyia said...

Bless your heart. You are absolutely NOT alone in this, btw. I think you will find a lot more support than you anticipated. At least I hope so. Good for you, btw, on realizing that you need to just stop and allow yourself to take care of yourself. I know I will be here when you get back :)

Joan said...

As one who has lived (and struggled with) depression for years, my heart goes out to you. It is very important to see your doctor - it took me years before I brought it up and I am so glad I did. The other thing - you cannot do all things at all times for all people. Sometimes we ask more of ourselves than could ever be reasonably dreamed. You are wise to shut off the blog for awhile - do the same with a few other things until you can gradually bring them back - or not, it is entirely your call. Rest, mend, do what you love.

Shelley said...

Please take as much time as you need! Depression is a nasty disease, I completely understand as I suffer from it as well and had to take a break from blogging too. I, for one, will still be around to read your next post whenever that may be! Just know that you have a support system in the blogging world if you need it. :). Take care of yourself!

Debbie said...

I could have written this post myself! Good for you for doing what YOU need....putting on that happy face for the world is too hard. Take all the time you need...I think I might just follow in your footsteps.

Kathy said...

Big hugs to you, Jennifer. Please take the time you need. I was really upset with myself when I was depressed. Then a smart woman told me that if it was a stomachache that I wouldn't be mad at my stomach. I hope that made sense. It seemed to take me forever to heal, BUT when I did I came back even stronger. Sending warm hugs and thoughts and prayers your way.

Kris said...

Jennifer - Its okay to be depressed!!! Its your body saying I need a time out!! The length of the time-out can change from time to time!! So, take care of yourself and your cute little family and just know that we will miss you until you return!! But return when YOU are ready, not when you think you should, ok!! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate!! Just take care and we'll see ya when see ya!!! Hugs, Kris

Belinda said...

God Bless you Jennifer! Depression is an awful thing & you are quite heroic, in my book, for telling your story. Take whatever time you need to get better. Sew to your hearts content "without obligation" because it brings you joy! Share it only when the sharing also brings you joy. Prayers!

Hollie said...

I know exactly where you are right now. I have been there (and I am trying to come out of a mini funk myself at the moment). Sometimes you just don't know what you need to do to get better. It's frustrating and overwhelming but keep the faith. Just know that we are all here rooting for you. Bravo for taking the time to figure out what you need right now. It may take some time and that is okay. I will be sending you strength and support.

Jen said...

take care of yourself. you don't owe the the blogging world anything. Remember, quilting and blogging without obligation! take care of you because that is the most important thing! everything else can wait. I hope you are feeling better soon. I think I was in a depression for about 2 years. somehow after I moved, I became happy again. hang in there!

Joy M. said...

I am sorry you are not feeling yourself. You take all the time you need! (((HUGS)))

emedoodle said...

No worries! We'll all still be here when you return! Take as much time as you need and do what you'd like! It is your life afterall. Try not to feel obligated to be perfect. None of us are. And as always, thanks for sharing with us!

Dawn S. said...

Take care of yourself first and foremost. Feel better soon. :-)

Debbie said...

I've been lurking for a while as I find your blog fun to visit. You've written some pretty impressive posts lately. I just wanted to say that you are your number one priority. You know it and that is a good thing! Thanks for sharing and I'll be here when you return. :)

Lee Ann said...

I so understand. My week long break (last week) was due to the fact I needed to take care of myself due to depression. I am not all that outspoken about it; but, it's a reality of my life. I wish it wasn't; but, it is. You're doing the right thing for you. Don't worry about us. We'll still be here. :-)

Kasey said...

If I knew you in real life, I would bake you a pie, or double chocolate cookies, or some such deliciousness. Because that is what I do when I can't take it anymore (I'm a stress eater), and it's what always helps my friends when they get hit in the gut by life. I can't make pain go away, but one good pie sure makes it taste a little sweeter. I think I went through a baker's dozen of cookies and at least six pies at my lowest when my dad passed and my husband was deployed... but, to counteract the eating, I run a lot, which is another form of self-healing.
Do what you need to do to heal yourself- baking, running, sleeping, or whatever it is that makes you feel better.
Best wishes!

Rachel said...

Jennifer, I think we would all be liars if we said we couldn't sympathize with you. See you when you are feeling better. Take care.

Dirt Road Quilter said...

Oh Girl! Take care of YOU! Take all the time you need. I don't have any experience with depression, but we all come to a point where we need a break. I haven't blogged in a month. Sometimes when our plates become overloaded we just have to dump some things and start over. May your new plate only contain the things that bring you joy and peace. Sending prayers your way.

Miss Holly said...

I know all about it....dear lovely lady....take a big break ...this is about fun not deadlines....I have been on antidepressants for a long time and for me it has worked.... I will be on them for ever...I have no problem telling anyone about it for me it was the answer...You do what ever it takes.. it is a very very stressful world we live in...this blog world is all about caring and being supportive to the lovely new friends we have made... as my dear mum used to say to me " I'll be in your pocket..." lots of hugs and love from seaview cottage...

Briawna said...

You know, I realized last week that I hadn't worked on a quilt in a few days and didn't feel like doing it. I realized it was my own way of saying I needed a break without recognizing it. So, I didn't quilt, blog, answer emails, or do anything I didn't want to do. Whether people are suffering from depression or just experiencing a low time, it should be okay to take a break and rejuvenate. If people don't think it's okay, I'm about 100% sure those people are stressed, on the verge of their own breakdown, or living in denial. It should always be okay to spend a little time doing what fills your life with joy.

P.S. I think everyone has those Sundays where we need a personal day away from church. I usually blame it on one or more of my kids and take a day off. It doesn't mean your lacking a testimony, just needing a moment to realize that our ability to live the gospel requires a moment to re-center. Ignore anyone who says otherwise. :-)

Kristie said...

You are awesome. And I agree, our mental health deserves as much attention and grace as our physical ailments.

{hugs}

Shelly said...

Doesn't it just suck! Anxiety, depression and also being a mom and the demands that are put on you everyday. I think I read at the top of your blog about 5 different things that you are trying to keep up with job, house, coaching yikes where do you fit in. Take the time and learn who you are and that it is okay to say No. Saying it will take alot of practice but in the end you will be stronger for it. Good luck and I'll miss ya. Heal

Natasha said...

I have dealt with and at times continue to deal with depression. Prayers for you and your family.

Elizabeth D. said...

Take your time! Take care of you, we all completely understand. We'll be here when you're ready :)

Hands Sew Full said...

It has been said before, you gotta take care of you! Depression is much easier when dealt with earlier than later. (Personally it took me two years to address it and four years of intense help to get out of it!) Take whatever time you need and do get whatever help you need. I love your blog and will happily wait until you are well and whole. Best wishes!

stitchinpenny said...

I have a daughter with horrible bouts of depression. Medicine and therapy help, but there are still times when the outside world is just to big an obstacle for her. She also suffers from anxiety and can retreat into herself and it is hard to get her on the path to good things again. Her husband is supportive, and I know yours is too. I hope that this time off brings you those few minutes in a day where you can take a little time to yourself or with Steve and you can find some good in those minutes. I will pray for you. I wish you less stress so that you can begin to defeat this ugly monster in your life, but there are times when the stress just cannot be avoided, so in those times I wish for you understanding friends. The more understanding the better. It is an illness and I wish people could would treat those affected as if they were ill and give them support and love.

Live a Colorful Life said...

I so admire your honesty and know that at least one person, if not more, will be helped by that alone.

that being said, please take all the time you need. It might be longer than a week. We won't be going anywhere.

Elisa said...

I understand - I deal with it almost daily myself. Add on the economy of Michigan, depleted savings, loss of hours... Take care of yourself - ignore the "helpful" advice like "suck it up" or "God wouldn't give you more than you can handle". Do what's best FOR YOU! We 'll be waiting when YOU are ready.

ktquilts said...

Oh, it sounds like you need a break longer than a week! Break off from the bloggy world until it is a joy again.
I will be praying that the Lord bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you and give you peace, forever.

Paul said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Paul said...

You are right, this is a sickness that nobody wants to talk about. It is not like the FLU, or Cancer, or even the common cold.

Take the time you need, I'll continue to follow, and when you come back, I'll get a notice that you posted, and I'll start reading again... Until then, I'll pray for you.

May God Bless You with Peace that passes understanding. May you experience healing. May you have strength when the enemy attacks you, May you remember to call upon the name of your savior when he does.

May your Husband be blessed with an understanding of your needs, and the ability to provide for you. And May your daughter be blessed with Love for her Mommy that will be a source of strength to you.

And May your quilting be an outlet for you that is therapeutic and healing.

May God Bless You Richly in the coming days,
Paul

Carla said...

Ahh, Jennifer, I wish that I could give you a big hug of encouragement. One of my best friends found a wonderful Christian counselor who helped her with ways to cope with her depression. It has made a huge difference. I'll be praying for you, my friend.

randi said...

Take all the time you need, Jennifer! It's always good to set things aside for while so that life can settle down a bit.

You will be in my thoughts and my prayers. I hope this week is a restful one for you!

Tamie said...

Take the time you need, the space you need, and all the "I" time you need. I feel for you and mental health illness is an illness just like you said but isn't treated the same way as other illnesses. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Melissa said...

I'll be thinking of you and hoping that you are feeling better soon. Take care of yourself!

Susan said...

Jennifer I am so sorry to hear about the hard time you are going through. Please know that there are many, many people feeling for you and caring about you.
A close family member of ours went through this last year. After months of struggle, she finally went to a professional and got help in the form of medication and therapy. She is now pretty much back to herself. Everyone in the family has been encouraging to her, and we have made it clear that there is no shame involved. Depression can be a chemical problem in the brain, so getting help for it is the right thing!
I hope you will soon be feeling better, and will keep you in my prayers.
Sending you hugs!

Susan said...

Jennifer,
Although I have no personal experience with depression, I too am a mother with all the same mirad of responsibilities as you have. Kudos to you for telling the world about what is going on with you - we will all be here to enjoy whatever you choose to share with the world when you return. Please enjoy your break and know how all of your readers really care about you.
Do not feel you have to reply back...this is part of your break. :)
Susan

Sew.What. said...

I suffer from depression too. It started after my son was born and now I realize that it's something I've already dealt with.

We are all hear for you, enjoy some healing time for yourself. See you when you return.

Kerri @ Sew.What.

Harlow Designs said...

Depression is not a sign of weakness it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long!
I wish you all the best in your healing process. Never be afraid to reach out and ask for help.
Sending love, warmth and best wishes your way.
Whent he time is right to come back you will know, until then, do what is right for you.
xxxxxx

Carol T said...

I hope you feel better. I know depression is hard to handle. You can being doing something you enjoy and then it just hits you that your life is wrong. Seeing what a ton of bloggers do with their life can hit you hard too when you think their life is so much better than yours. I also know that depression can run in families (it does in mine). I hate the depression drug commercials because they are so depressing (they make me anxious). I know that depression will come and go (mine does). I hope you enjoy your week away from blogging and have a stress free go of it.

Rachel said...

A difficult decision, and a brave one at the same time. Take all the time you need to get better - as you said, it's a sickness just like any other, so hopefully some R&R along with some time will have you back and well again.

Justine said...

Hi Jennifer, I think at times like these you simply need to look after YOU. We will all be here as and when you need us, take all the time you need lovely. {hugs}

Kirsty@Bonjour said...

Take lots of time to look after yourself. Some things are more important than blogging - in fact most things are. Your health, happiness and family deserve all your attention. Thinking of you and wishing you the best. x x x

ladybugquilting said...

You are the most important thing...bugger the blog! Get well soon,see you when you are ready and not before!

Betty said...

The best words I read in your blogpost were:
Some time to breathe and heal.

Do just that!
And don't make promisses you might not be able to keep: see y'all in a week.
Take some time off blogging, like 6 months?

Take your time to heal and get over this temporary bump in the road.

Love You!!

Marit said...

I admire your honesty and openness, Jennifer. You are so kind and generous, please be kind and generous to yourself, too. Take your time...

Miriam said...

Dear Jennifer,
I so absolutely understand you! I struggle depressions for my entire grown up life and sometimes I really don´t know what to do. There have always been people who made me feel like I easily can choose to be depressed or not, which made me feel even worse, because I couldn´t.
Sometimes I wish I just could stay in my bed and don´t do anything until its better. But our daily live doesn´t allow this. So the only thing I can tell you, is that you are absolutely doing the right thing. Slow down the things which you can, take the time for yourself which you can, and know that there are so many people out there who have similar problems, and the fewest are as brave as you are to tell. All the best from me to you...Thank you for your honesty!
Miriam

moira said...

Take the time you need and remember that there are a lot of people out here rooting for you x

Danielle said...

Take the time to get better! And thanks for talking about it! You deserve bouquets and more! Danielle x

piece peace said...

I can empathize with you, Jennifer. Depression sucks...literally. Take care of yourself first!

Catherine said...

Go, take care of YOU. We will be happy when you return and will all be thinking of you. I recently finished my quilt from the quilt-a-long. Everytime I wrap up in it, I'll send some thoughts your way. Take as much time as you need. We will wait. :)

Sarcastic Quilter said...

I applaud you for the courage it took/takes to talk about this. I'm a suck it up person but only when it comes to me. I hope I never judge someone else because they deal differently than I do.

You stepping up and taking care of what you need to focus on, that's the best thing anyone dealing with depression or other "hidden" illnesses can ever do. You, your family, your happiness are most important and the rest of it, not so much. The other things, blog, quilt, craft...they are distractions and stress releasers but only so long as they are fulfilling a need such as healing or peace or comfort. When they aren't, when they become a burden, an interference, or even a contributing heaviness because you are trying to "force the fun" back into them, you are absolutely right to take a break and recenter yourself.

Whenever you are ready, your readers will be here. I have no doubt because frankly, people like genuine and sweetheart, you are genuine.

So, I applaud your courage and am wishing you your health in all that matters.

Love said...

No explanation needed.... we will be here when you return!

Elsa said...

Jennifer,
So brave of you to write how you've been feeling. I've been where you are and completely understand. Take care of yourself. No sucking it up please, it only makes it take so much longer to get to the other side and there is another side.
my very best to you, elsa

Jolie said...

I'm so thrilled you're taking some time to look after *you*! As a fellow depression sufferer, I feel your pain - and the crazy expectations you put on yourself to keep going through all this when we'd never be so unrealistic with a *physical* illness. Hang in there. The black clouds don't last forever, but they can be bloody overwhelming whilst they're there.

Tracy said...

Everyone needs time for themselves. My Mom has an anxiety disorder as well as being clinically depressed. And sometimes it comes on quickly and intensely, and it's confusing but one thing I've come to understand is IT IS BEYOND HER(YOUR)CONTROL. And so don't fret over it. Take whatever therapy you and your doctor has decided is best for you and take care of you. We'll all be here. *HUGS* I'll keep you in my prayers, I hope you get to feeling "right" again soon.

Kiera said...

You are in my prayers. I have been in that place where you are now and I know it is oh so painful. The best thing you can do is take the time to take care of you. Ignore those who will judge or who are ignorant about depression. I know you probably don't feel it now, but you are showing so much courage and strenth and inspiration to others by being open. You will be missed, but take all the time you need. You are more important than a blog. Love and hugs to you.

ConundrumChum said...

I just started a low dose anti-depressant and as needed an anti-anxiety pill. I talked to my Dr. about it and it has made a difference. It has helped me, there are good medicines out there. If you had diabetes you would take something for it. Take care of yourself!

Karen said...

More of us relate than you could ever know! Your post seems apologetic, like you feel you are letting 'us' down. We are our own harshest critics and you MUST cut yourself some slack. It is exhausting to put on that fake 'happy' face for everyone, when you feel sooo much different on the inside. Many don't perceive depression as a sickness, but truth is, it's often a chemical imbalance in our brains. I swore for years that medication was unnecessary. However, I realized I had been in denial & I needed help. Medication can make a HUGE difference. Medication AND therapy is even better. When 'good' doctors prescribe meds, they suggest therapy too. Maybe you should look for a Christian therapist? This struggle won't last forever,...but pleeeease love, forgive and be kind to YOURself. You don't have to be perfect! (((BIG HUGS))))

Gmama Jane said...

Look at all the support you've received and how many of your readers are suffering with depression right along beside of you! After 13 yrs of caring for my mother with Alzheimer's and subsequent death 8 yrs. ago, I reached a point I had to acknowledge the pink elephant in the room...My Depression. Honey, LIFE Happens, and it happens to all of us! I was "embarrassed to talk to my Dr. about it but I finally did and it was though a burden had been lifted. I began a low dose of antidepressant and within 2-3 weeks I began to feel slightly better...after 1-2 months, one morning I woke up and realized "the fog" had been lifted. I had no idea how wonderful it was to feel good or "normal" again!! I highly recommend talking to your Dr. and work with him on adjusting your medication. I'm currently on Cymbalta which is good for my Fibromyalgia. My situation is different and I suppose you get tired of hearing everyone else's story. I just wanted to give you the freedom and courage to speak to your Dr. and ask for help!! I felt like I wasn't praying hard enough or that I wasn't in God's will but once HE assured me that HE could work thru my Dr. to make me feel better...I eased up the judgement on myself. Please ask for help!
Blessings
Gmama Jane

Wendy said...

Depression happens to the best of us.....don't worry about what other people think.......take this time for yourself to get better......I will be praying for you.......life is not always about the mountain tops......sometimes we walk in the valley.....that being said, just take it daily and know that healing will come......may this time out bring you rest and peace......

Helen said...

Take care of yourself (and let others take care of you). I hope you feel better soon xx

M said...

I want you to know how wonderful your blog is, but if it isn't around for a time then we can just savor in the posts that are there. You need to take care of YOU and know that your readers do care and want that for you.

You will be missed but under the premise that you deserve whatever time it takes to make you feel better.

quiltzyx said...

Yes! Take a break & take care of yourself!!!
You are not alone, be assured of that. I have recently learned that one in FOUR people have some sort of mental health issue. ONE in FOUR! It was quite a surprise when I spoke about that at my quilt guild last month & I asked every 4th person to hold up their hand....
Some dear friends of mine recently started a foundation, and one of the main goals of it is to bring all mental health problems out of the dark and INTO THE LIGHT.
So, again, do what you need to do to take care of yourself. We'll still be here when you get back!
(((((((hugs)))))))

Perfect American Family said...

Take care of yourself and take time for yourself even if you can get out for a 10 minute walk each day accomplishing something for yourself. And when you are feeling down read the remarks from your blog readers because they care about you, care for you and want the best for you. Take Care and Take Time.

Pam said...

Hopefully people are more educated about depression now, but like I said, hopefully. Please understand that anyone who tells you to suck it up is just ignorant on the subject and/or has never experienced depression. I hope you find something that helps you. This isn't something that just goes away like a stomach bug or a cold.
prayers being sent your way.

Connie said...

Yep, as it has been said before, we'll be here when you get back. Everyone needs a break now and then.

Mommarock said...

You take some time for yourself darlin.. find your joy again. Perhaps you will find someone or something that will help you through this. Hugs from here. I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here waiting for your talent when you return :) From Tx

QuiltyGirl said...

Breaks are good! :)
Take care.

Anonymous said...

This is nothing to hide. Please please see a doc for the right antidepressants and find a good talk therapist.

You owe it to yourself to feel better.
best of luck

lindaroo said...

God bless you, sweet girl. Depression is a sucking sore, and you are so, so brilliant to recognize your need to re-ground yourself in creating for yourself. We'll miss you, and send love and hope your way.

JJ said...

Depression is not a good thing. It sounds like you have a ton of things going on in your life. Just let some go and take time for yourself to rest and regroup.

Heather A said...

By all means, take care of YOU!

Think of your blog as a gift to the world. You don't have to keep on giving and you should only be doing this if it's fulfilling for you. Life gets crazy, circumstances change. Sometimes blogging feels healthy and sometimes it can feel like a chore. When it feels like a chore, just stop until you're ready again. IF you're ever ready again. It's your life. Make it fulfilling for YOU!

HUGS!!

Jana said...

I just found you. I hope you can too. Take your time and take care of YOU.

razberiswrl said...

Jennifer, I so get it. Truly. Hopefully your blues will turn to bright yellows very soon. :)

Ginger said...

Jennifer - My heart is breaking knowing you are feeling so bad. I just discovered your post as I haven't been on my computer in a couple of days due to my own depression issues. As I've told you before, I admire you so much for your honesty and genuineness. You must take care of YOU right now! Say no to anything or anyone causing you extra stress. I used to try to be the perfect mom and wife and daughter and got myself into more than I could handle. I thought I handled it well until one of my breakdowns. Steve and Chaney just need YOU - not Super Mom or Super Wife. Take care of yourself, Chaney's mother, and Steve's wife. We all love you and will be here when you come back whenever that might be!!! I am still praying for you and I know this will all work itself out for you because you are wise enough to know that you need a break and are taking it! One thing that has helped me a lot with my stress is learning relaxation techniques. I don't practice them as I should but they do work. Think I'll do some tonight when I finally go to bed!!! Let me know if I can do anything to help in any way!!!

Jana said...

I forgot to add yesterday that you should BLOG WITHOUT OBLIGATION too. Take care of yourself, and the rest will follow. ((((HUGS))))

Madame Samm said...

I worked in pharma for years with anti-depressants, IT IS REAL...it is an illness, and some need meds. But one also has to do put the breaks on ( as you have done, good) and do for you...because we all have heard it time and time again. IF MOMMA not happy, nobody is...
With any illness that cannot be handled by diet alone, you may just need a physician who can prescribe the correct dosage for you. You do not need to feel alone...According to stats. ( depression is worth billions upon billions to big pharma) Someone is taking meds lol....

Anonymous said...

Give yourself all the time you need. I've followed your blog quietly for the last year or so and loved your work. I have struggled with depression and anxiety myself for almost 60 years. Most of the time I get by fine, but I have also gone through stretches of weeks—even years trying get back on track; to feel the energy of looking forward; of living in the moment with joy. A good physician, a good counselor, good friends, diet and exercise and kindness to yourself are all key. Peace! susyd9

Shannon said...

((((HUGS)))) I understand. I have had depression for a LONG time. Take all the time you need. Love you lots!!

Purple Quilter Queen said...

Best of luck - we'll be here when you are back "up and running"! Many hugs Jennifer!

Polka Dot Classic said...

Take Good care of Yourself :)
Hugs
we'll be here waiting when you decide is time to come back
Best Regards
Marta

Cindy Lou said...

Take care! I just found you today from another blog! I signed up under quilting with out obligation.
Take all the time you need Jennifer!

Anonymous said...

Good for you... OMG!!!You have such guts!!! To be so honest and put it out there. I also suffer from depression. There has always been such a stigma attached to it. But it is real and good for you to realize that sometimes we need to take a break and get ourself back together. Take care of you and we'll be here when you get back

Katie said...

I am a new reader to your blog, and I have loved what I've seen so far! Take all the time you need to de-stress, and do something for yourself. A pedi, a mani, a cookie, a snuggle with your beagle--whatever YOU need. We'll be here. :)

Kirsten said...

Do whatever you need to do to heal! And please don't suck-it-up... it tends to be the other way round - it-sucks-you-up... in our day and age we can be open about this - that is what will empower us. I have always talked openly about my struggles and a couple of months ago my 15 year old walks up to her new soccer coach (who is 21) tells him she gets anxiety attacks on the field and to replace her when he sees this and that she is going to see a psychologist to help her overcome it. It lightened her burden a lot and she thought nothing of it. She is not keeping it a secret because she knows she needs to talk to overcome it.
So thank you for sharing - it has a postive healing impact on someone who needs it! And I hope you feel better soon - you are not alone!

Lisa said...

I wish I knew you in real life Jennifer. To me you are a brave and honest person and I thank you for telling us the real reason you are taking a break. The more that mental illness is 'out there' the easier it will be for all those millions of us who suffer.

I've had OCD since I was a young teenager and there have been times when I have not been able to leave the house let alone sew. Fortunately I am generally well, although there are times when I feel just so awful. Sewing does make me happy though, and although sometimes the effort of getting off the couch and getting on with it is enourmous, inevitably it does cheer me.

Take all the time you need. I love your blog, but we all want you to be really well. I know how hard it can be but keep search for what works for you.

And I wanted to add that I quilted along with your quilt along, and my quilt is nearly finished! Just the quilting and binding to go.

Elisa Black said...

Hi Jennifer-- I'm glad you shared about your depression and I see that you have had quite a deluge of comments in response (I haven't read them yet, I just see that there are a lot of them). I'm glad that you are doing what you need to do for you. I, too, suffer from depression and have posted about it on my quiet little blog. I find it hard to share openly about my depression, but in my experience, I've noticed that most quilters are supportive and encouraging. And I do think its helpful for those of us who have clinical depression to connect and know that we're not alone. Please feel free to contact me personally via email if you want to talk more (and share methods of coping, etc). I wish you a peaceful and restorative "break". Take all the time you need-- your followers will still be here for you whenever you are ready.

Kellie said...

Hiya, just delurking to say I feel ya! Am in exactly the same place right now and have had to 'step off the roundabout' for awhile to get myself together. I have a pretty awesome game face but oh, the energy it takes! Do what you need to for you (((hugs)))

Jackie said...

I don't think anyone expects all happy, all the time. In fact, it's not realistic. Thank you for sharing your personal story with us. I admire your courage, honesty and determination. Hugs.

Nanette Merrill and daughters said...

It is ok to post feelings from time to time on our blogs. We are real people with real problems. Real is good. Depression hurts and I have felt the sting from time to time but mostly in watching family members. My heart goes out to you.

Isadora said...

I really loved this post, I agree with you 100%! Good to know I'm not alone!

Gabriela - Living La Vida Normal said...

Thank you for posting this! You are not alone, I just posted something very similar on my blog. Take care of YOU! We'll all be here...

handmadebyclairebear.com said...

Oh honey, comfort yourself with the thought that only bright, intelligent people get depression. We overthink things, and that spirals into believing that we can't cope. As you can tell that includes me.
Pretend that you are your best friend and work out what you would say to yourself.
Look after yourself. Eat healthily, get outside for a few minutes every single day, surround yourself with little things that make you smile inside.
Take a couple of days off your normal life and go and do something fun. Other people will cover for you, don't worry, you deserve it. Give your self permission to fail.
Take photos of your children doing silly things (depression affects your memory and there are so many things I can't remember now about my kids when they where younger and my depression started, I wish I'd taken more photos) put them in a journal along with the kids' silly/favourite sayings of the week.
You will have good days.
love Claire from HandmadebyClaireBear.com

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