I've never been good at those Wordless Wednesday posts that I see on other blogs. I always seem to have more to say OR I'm just lacking those really cool photos... ;)
So because I always enjoy being real here, I thought I'd take today and share a little more of me. Now I don't want this to come across as a negative post because it's really nothing more than me thinking out loud.
Would you believe that I'm a shy person? I'm in a relationship-centric job with a large client base, I coach softball for 10 players and 10 sets of parents, and I have this blog that for some reason, more than just a few people read. That's a lot of people for this shy girl to interact with.
It's obvious that I love quilting, fabric, and sharing what I'm working on... here. In real life, not so much.
Steve is my biggest fan and probably because he's one of the few that I am comfortable with and actually enjoy showing off to. The idea always sounds nice but the reality of attending a guild meeting, a quilt retreat or any kind of creative get-together nearly paralyzes me with fear.
Am I the only one like this??
A lot of the time I find myself feeling like I am because I see so many people blogging about their wonderful experiences at guild meetings, retreats, etc... . I love looking at their pictures but I secretly find myself wondering, how the heck did they manage to get out of their car?
I promise that I'm not snobby. Weird maybe; but not a snob. But whatever it is that I am, I feel like I'm missing out on the whole quilting "experience" and I can't decide if this is something I need to push myself to do so I can be more normal.
Or maybe I'm good staying right where I am... in my comfortable studio... in my favorite chair and subjecting Steve to my revolving quilt show-and-tell.
Poor Steve...
29 comments:
I am right there but I do have two women that I share but nobody else.
I think everybody should respect how you feel, the most you self! But if you are curious, somehow envious (sorry I hope it is the right word, I am german) and you would love talk to other people about your passion, you could maybe give it a try? I just found out how amazing it can be to share some time with those people who understand how you can spend so much time with fabrics and a sewing machine...
First of all, I love your blog and check in every day! You have so very much talent and are an inspiration for me and so very many others, to be sure.
I'm 50, was once a very shy girl, young woman. People who didn't know me then can hardly believe it. I've grown to embrace who I am and am much more comfortable in the world. I wish the same for you... so maybe baby steps? Grab a friend and go to that guild meeting, meet some new folks and be inspired by the creativity of others. I know there is lots of that in blogland, but it's different face to face. All the best to you, and please keep blogging.
And... if you need that quiet more introspective time after interacting with all those people week in and week out when it goes against your nature, then that is what you should do. Honor your gut feelings. Since you're "talking" about this here, I'm thinking that maybe your inner wisdom is trying to give you a little nudge. Either way, do what feels right to you!
I'm right there with you, Jennifer, I'm a pretty shy kind of person by nature, always have been. There's nothing wrong with choosing to share electronically instead of in person, nothing at all :) I don't think that you're necessarily missing part of the quilting experience.
I am not shy but I am incredibly introverted. I am extremely happy to be alone and I am very very good at entertaining myself. You will not hear "I'm bored" coming out of my mouth.
I am very scared of guilds. The longarm lady told me I need to go to a guild but I am not so sure. There are a wonderful group of women at my church that I already know and we get together one time a month and chat, play games, knit, sew, or scrapbook...whatever we want. It is an amazing time every time. I love getting together with those women, but we have so much deeper things going on: we share faith, acquaintances, friends. Some of us share a hobby too. They are my real-life quilty support. I have several quilting relatives, too.
I have peeked into the guilds around here. One seems extremely disorganized (which would drive me BONKERS) and then the other I looked into is super strict(they tell you what color of thread to use in your bee blocks and such). Frankly, they seem so perfectionist that I would feel extremely judged. I think I will just stick to my church gals for now...I feel VERY blessed to have them. I think you could be missing out on a good time but I understand your fear completely. Maybe you could start your own church group! I think you should give it a go in some way. I cannot wait to do a retreat with my quilting church gals.
And just in case you ever get a retreat together, the quilt house in Azle Texas is $30/night and you can shop her shop ALL NIGHT LONG! She's a SUPER lady I met at the Festival in Houston.
I wouldn't consider myself shy but I am not particularly comfortable in large group situations UNLESS I know what "hat" I am wearing. I do much better when I have a role or responsibility. If it's just social, I am a fish out of water. But give me a job, and I'm there. Each guild has it's own personality and perhaps neither of the ones in your area are a good fit for you. However, I went WAY out of my comfort zone and went to a retreat - by myself - and it was fabulous. The love of quilting is a great connection and I really enjoyed it. I met some interesting women and accomplished amazing amounts of quilting. Just don't be too hard on yourself.
I so relate to this. I'm not a shy person...at all. But I am very reserved when it comes to talking about and sharing my quilting hobby. I dread the day someone says, "well, that's nice. But quilting is for old ladies. And you're not very good at it." Though it seems highly unlikely that anyone would ever say that to my face, it's still a fear.
I fear guilds, but not really because I have nothing to share. I have lots to share and contribute but I have yet to find a guild that fits my style. They're either older women who don't value any variation from their style or they're too strict and require almost constant involvement. Plus, I'm too cheap to pay for something I don't value. So, instead, I blog-stalk and quilt in my quilting room at night after the kids go to bed. I almost prefer quilting that way. Quilting is my sanctuary (other than my church, of course) and I find that I can process my day and think more clearly when I'm alone. I love a good girls' night out but quilting isn't involved. So, I feel ya', girl. Just know you're not alone. Can we ever really be alone when there's a whole blogland of quilters, tutorials, and online forums. There's really no need to leave my quilt room!
A retreat with "virtual" friends would scare me to death. Especially knowing my skills are nothing like theirs. But I enjoy getting together with my MIL who lives about 20 miles away in Allen and with my mom and sisters when I get to see them.
Just one real life quilting buddy can be a lot of fun, shop hopping and swapping scraps and making mistakes together. Some of that can happen with online friends but I think it is worth doing in real life as well.
I am in North Texas if you need a fellow scaredy cat to go with. :)
Also There is a shop up near me that does short hours-long or one night mix and mingle retreats.
If you're itchin' try a group thing, how about organizing a little stitch get together with a few gals you've met online that live close by (are there some?). You could meet at a neutral location like a coffee shop and bring hand work. I run retreats, belong to a traditional and modern guild, another small Friday stitch group and teach classes. Group quilting is not for everyone, but the sharing, support and REAL friendships are what I cherish. I never thought I'd have so much fun hanging out with other women after having worked in a very male-dominated industry for years. I love that my friends range in age from 35 to 70!
Or, you know, stick with what makes you happy! Just because others are doing it, doesn't mean you have to. As long as Steve is a willing audience, do your thang girl!
I so get where you're coming from. I tend to be shy unless around family or very close friends. I also don'e belong to a quild...I'm pretty much self taught. I tend to get intimidated by others' work so maybe that's why I don't belong to a guild, but then again, I like being alone. When I'm in my sewing room, I'm very content with just the hum of my machine and my thoughts. Thanks for sharing...so nice to get to know more of you!
Kiera
No, you aren't the only one. I'm shy-painfully shy. Although I have spent years of my life volunteering in various civic and church organizations, I find as I do these things it is like I'm playing a role in a play. I do what needs to be done, talk to who I need to, but it isn't the 'real' me. Left to my own devices, I will happily sit quietly in the background and watch. While I, too, have read many blog posts about guild meetings and retreats, which look like fun, I don't think I could handle it. Even the best kinds of groups tend to get competitive and cliquish, and I have a hard time with criticism from strangers. So, I'll quietly sew at home, or with my daughter and sister-in-law. Sometimes I feel like I'm being a big chicken, or missing out on things, I've reached a point in my life where I know what makes me happy and what makes me miserable, and I actively try to avoid miserable!
I can understand where you're at. I am being taught to quilt through Harriet & Carriet Hargrave's "Quilter's Academy" and I'm enjoying the college-like course. I love to be at home with my family. They need me and I need them, so that is where I'm comfortable. Occasionally, it's fun to shop in a store - the quilting store gals are usually on the same wavelength and they speak the language of quilting. I can't imagine putting a quilt in a show - it's really for family or charity. I do appreciate the quilting, crafting and cooking gals in blogland. Blogging is a fun way to connect, but without having to leave home! I went to a scrapbooking show (I was the only one who showed up!) and learned that the hostess was a quilter! Through that first meeting, we have gotten together to sew twice and that has been fun. We both have nine year olds, so it's great for them, too. Good luck to you.
I don't think this is crazy at all! I would rather be at home in my little hide-a-way and show my husband every tiny stitch than be at some big show/meeting where I don't know anyone. Sometimes I wish I could be part of a guild to learn and explore what others are doing, but I know it won't happen. Some ladies at church have asked to have a monthly learning session...with me teaching(I don't know that much, I've only been quilting a little over a year) and I think it would be a great gathering opportunity, but it terrifies me. Not only do I not feel qualified to have an opinion or knowledge enough, but the conversation-well...I don't have much to talk about and I don't like getting stuck.
It did surprise me to read this about you. I feel like I am the only person who feels the same way. While I love going to retreats, it is because I am with a very small group of friends, the ones I feel comfortable with. But the rest of the time I would rather be in my sewing room, alone. I have recently becomes friends with someone who is just like me and incredibly passionate about quilting, so I think we will start getting together on a regular basis.
You're posts about keeping it real are always so relevant.
oh, my goodness, you sound just like me! I have often said throughout my life that I longed to be "a real person" (meaning the type of person who is not afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone. I think my comfort zone is small. I have learned through the years that when I've with certain people (my husband and my sister for instance) I feel bolder. I forced myself to go to guild meetings when I lived in North Carolina, but I felt so lonely there. I tried talking to the people around me, but they were there with their friends and I didn't want to bother them with more than "hello". I shake with anxiety when I have to approach a quilt shop about carrying my patterns. I have the feeling that I'm "bothering" them.
I taught school for 20 years and I didn't feel shy in that situation. I knew exactly what was expected of me. I knew that parents were interested in what I had to say about their children. We don't have that assurance in every day life. I've learned to force myself to do a lot of things, but I still lean heavily on my friends to spur me on and be there when I'm in awkward situations. It helps just to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this! (My husband has never met a stranger. I guess that was one thing that attracted me to him.)
I heard the Dallas Modern Quilt Guild has Friendship Circles, which are small groups that meet at people's homes, I think. Maybe you'd like that? I prefer the bee/small group setting. I join guilds to find the bees, truthfully-- but then I get so much more out of it, mostly inspiration. As for big guilds-- no way!
Jennifer! I am the same way. I have only been to a quilt guild meeting twice. The first time I sat in the car debating on weather or not to go in. I ended up not continuing to go because I am just not good at talking to so many new people at once and there is no way I could stand up and actually show these people what I have made. I keep thinking I should go back, but always come up with an excuse not to.
About the retreat thing, just two weeks ago, my aunt booked a space for me to go to a retreat with her in two weeks. I am extremely nervous about it. I have actually been worrying that I don't do things correctly and they will be horrified at my methods.
The point- you are most certainly not the only one! I blog, too, but it's not even in the same realm of dealing with people face to face. That's why it's easy.
Totally with you on this one. I love sharing my work, but I'm so scared of joining the local quilt guild. I don't know why, but I picture them telling me all the things I've done wrong and/or dismissing my work. I'm not saying I don't do good work, but I'm afraid the guilds will turn into criticism. I don't know how I would handle that. But, blogging has been great - such a supportive environment!
I don't think you need to change your life. I am quite a shy person. I could never see myself at a retreat even though I read how much fun everyone has. I belonged to a guild but no longer. It was a group of older women who would not budge out of their comfort zone to bring younger gals into the club. I felt all the work load of shows, workshops, show & tells fell on just a few. My husband and I operated a farm, had 2 girls, I worked full time so our lives were very busy. Now retired, it is our together time. We support each other and rarely go out on our own. I love this time. Once a week I meet with a church group to quilt. These delightful ladies (5) age 84 - 87 and I couldn't be in better company. I want to learn all I can from them so when I become their age, I will do some of the fine things they are doing now.
I visit your blog every day, it is one of my favorites. I have just started a blog and I feel so confortable in blogland. Quilters here are more compansionate and supportive than anywhere. I even had a visit from a quilter from Texas that drove right across Canada to visit me. Now how much better can life get.
I am shy/introvertd too and after a couple of bad experinces with guilds, I am reluctant to try again. I have girlfriends but they don't quilt.I could handle a small group of like minded women who get together to sew, but also for the companionship and laughter. A non-judgemental, non-competative group of women would be fun.
I feel you on this one! I think that explains a lot of bloggers...love the online life, shy away from real life! LOL....I took the plunge and joined/help start a MQG in Las Vegas. It takes me out of my comfort zone...but maybe that is a good thing? My dog can only appreciate so many of my quilts.... ;-D Get out there once a month and try a guild with a style like your own! You may just like it....Good luck.
You definitely aren't alone in this. My family thinks I am the most outgoing and happy person - and I am with them, but put me in a room full of people I don't know and I turn into a bumbling wreck. My mind goes blank and I don't know what to say and I usually feel really left out. If I can find one person to talk to then I can slowly open up and then talk to others, but unless I make that one connection I might go the whole event/time/session without really talking to anyone. I find that some people may take that as snobbery but like you it is nothing of the sort - it’s just being out of my comfort zone and needing a life line from someone anyone. This is usually why I take my BFF with me - she can talk to anyone about anything and that gives me courage.
Steve sounds lovely!
I have been a member of a guild for going on three years now, and am thinking of not renewing my membership next year. I just have not been able to break through to talk to anyone because of the cliques involved in the guild. And I learned pretty quick that I shouldn't be showing my quilts during show and tell as noone understands my style.
They do have a few teachers come through each year and I love the lectures, but I'm to the point where I'd rather stay home and show the quilts I make to my husband and kids, who think everything I do is the best.
I'm the same way. I avoid social situations at all costs. Going to that first guild meeting was tough, but I haven't looked back since. I've made some lifetime friends that I wouldn't have otherwise made. I think alot of it depends on the guild though. I'm in the Phila Modern Quilt Guild. As others mention, guilds can be cliquey, but I think they are worth a try, even for shy girls like us. I love being able to share my craft with women my age who actually appreciate and understand the hardwork involved in quilting.
One of the hardest things I have done as a quilter was showing up at my local bee for the first time. I had only met one of the women once and I was the youngest by nearly 20 years, talk about intimidating! It turned out to be the start of an amazing network of friends. We are leaving on our 12th week long retreat together in a couple of weeks! I belong to a guild, also, but the bee has my heart.
I too am shy and not a very social person. I work in a job where I am surrounded by people all day so I figure that is my daily dose of interacting with others :). I too am too scared to go to a quilt guild. My husband and I stopped at the local one here in town last year when they were doing a quilt show and we got scared away and left quickly. They were also having a meeting and yelling about who should be president of the guild. I went home and said the internet is enough for me.
I completely understand your feelings. I force myself to go to quilting meetings because I figure its a good way to meet people and it will help me to improve my craft, but it is definitely hard. I'm always very anxious prior to going - and the last meeting when I had to speak and introduce myself I was so intimidated by what everyone else had said/did I wanted to hide under the table or run away.
I am normally very social, but not when it comes to my sewing. I too would love to join a guild or go on a retreat, but I think I am self conscious of being judges since I am self-taught. Plus, when I see other quilter/sewers in fabric stores I seem so much younger than most of the others. (I am in my 30's, which seems to be 20 years younger than alot of quilters I see in the stores.) I know it is silly to worry about that though. If you ever want to venture out, let me know. I am also in the Dallas area, Frisco to be exact.
:)
Courtney
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