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| Margaret's Hope Chest is using this tutorial! |
Quilters are some of the most generous and caring people I know. We make quilts that provide physical and emotional warmth for the recipient of that quilt. Most often we know who we are making the quilt for but there are also amazing charity quilting groups who give quilts to complete strangers.
But when did we become picky and selective about someone who wants to help make a quilt for someone less fortunate? I am all for making a quilt that is both practical and beautiful but does someone in need care about a quilter's style? I doubt it.
What would happen if quilters and other artists stopped donating to charities for fear of their work being judged as not being good enough? Charities already struggle enough as it is...
I love designer fabric, pretty points, matching seams, modern design, and flawless quilting just as much as the next quilter. But what I don't love is exclusivity and outright rejection because of someone's style or skill. There shouldn't be a "in" crowd of quilters because that's just jr. high. For me, quilting is about the art and the time invested doing something that I love... and if it helps someone else, that's even better. :)
Is it a group's right to exclude? Sure. But we are all different with different strengths and weaknesses and when it comes to helping someone in need, {to me} that is the last place with room for such behavior.
I debated writing this for about half a second but I think that "we" all need the occasional reminder about what is important, that quilting is not a competition, and that style is nothing more than personal preference. In writing this post perhaps I am turning in my designer fabric card but oh well. I would rather do that, be real, and continue to quilt without obligation.
Edited to add: after receiving several emails from some who applied to this group because of my encouragement and were then declined because of their style, etc; I wanted to apologize to anyone else who may have had the same experience. Margaret's Hope Chest is a wonderful quilting charity and they just started a bee open to anyone who wishes to volunteer! I am no longer a member of the exclusive "charity" group and I will be focusing my charity quilting efforts with Margaret's Hope Chest.
31 comments:
That is really sad. I stopped wanting to join a swap or bee when I listened to a radio chat that pat sloan did with someone who I won't name and the nameless person sounded very careless and laughing about being in swaps and getting something back that wasn't made as well as they thought it should have been. I still follow that quilter's blog but not as whole heartedly as I used too.
Our charity groups need our support more than ever with so many devastating events happening. I love seeing the variety of talent on group projects. I agree, styles should not be judged upon. I hand quilt with a group and it is hard to tell the difference in stitching when we are all done.
I think I know what situation you're talking about, and I think it's unfortunate and probably could have been handled better. But in defense of the group involved, if a charity bee has more people offering to join than available slots, I don't see anything wrong with being selective about a quilter's style. When you have a group of people all making blocks for the same quilt, you want them to match stylistically, ESPECIALLY when the block makers are contributing their own fabric. There are enough charity opportunities out there for everyone, regardless of style.
It may be for charity, but we're still quilters—part of the reason for doing this is just because we enjoy making something beautiful and cohesive. So I believe (I hope!) that it really isn't a "quilting in-crowd" situation, but just what makes the most sense for that group. It's not a judgment on the quilter involved.
Ugh, I remove blogs like that from my reader list. Quilting is my happy place, and I want to keep it that way! :)
For charity quilts anything should be expected but for a group quilt that will be auctioned or raffled, I don't see any reason for someone to be picky who participates. I have often won block of the months from our guild and because everyone's quarter inch is so different and not everyone squares up the same, I have received blocks that couldn't fit together. You make a quilt (that I usually donate)with what you can and use the others for the label. I have no idea what blog or group you are talking about though so I don't know all the details. But still.... Our guild will accept any quilt, any size and we'll find someone to donate it to.
I do charity quilts through our ministry and there should never be anyone who wants to donate quilt blocks turned away. The people who receive these quilts could care less if they are designer fabrics or what style they are made in....they are just happy that someone cared enough to make a quilt for them.....that said I too delete such blogs from my links when I find them....quilting for quilters should be fun on a whole....and I have found that quilters are the most generous people with their time and talents.....when quilting donated blocks as a quilt you can cover up a multitude of imperfections......no quilter has ever started out with a perfect quilt block......its a learning curve so why stunt someones learning in a great art because the quilt police think they don't measure up.....truly sad......
I am pretty sure that I know the situation that you are referring to in your post. I was saddened and shocked to read that this had happened. Charity comes from the heart and I hope this person will not be deterred to give from their heart. Thanks for the thoughtful post.
You go girl! Amen to all you daid!
Wow! I feel so sad when I read something like this. There is just no reason for this kind of attitude. I feel really sorry that anyone's kind impulse was shot down because 'someone' didn't like their style.
I'm fairly certain that I read about the same situation a while back and was dismayed. Feelings were hurt because of the way it was handled and the words about "syle" were not necessary. I do kind of understand that the "group" involved have a style of quilt that they want to promote.....I just wonder if doing it for "charity" is the right venue for them.
I agree with everything said here and in the comments, and I'm pretty sure I know what it's about. One more thing that disturbs me on blogs or mailing lists is where people mention they don't like something so they will "just give it to charity". I think it's not very charitable to give away your crap and expect someone else to just love it. It's one thing to say, 'this isn't my style' but to buy cheap fabric at Wartmal to use for charity projects is really putting a value on what you think the recipient is worth, no?
great post, jennifer!
if it's handmade, it's made with love. and isn't that what it's about?
also, i see this same things in swaps and it's sad. i received a beautiful pillow from a gal and she told me she felt so intimidated and that she wasn't a great quilter. she also said she knew her project wasn't as good as the others in the group. personally i loved it and told her so! it made me kind of sad that the competition is so fierce out there!
I am too scared to join a guild bc of their online manifesto on beeblocks. There is a quilted I know in real life who looks down on me bc I machine quilt. Snobbery abounds. I doubt 99% of people would ever reject a quilt just bc it wasn't "modern" or designer. Ps I'm sick of people being blinded by fabric. Modern fabric is not a pass for poor worksmanship and batons and traditional fabric don't make an automatic ugly quilt. True masters can make beauty from scraps even. Dunno what you are talking about but I am curious! Lol
OMG, that comment was unreadable! Thanks I phone auto spell! hahaha
Well said, Jennifer! The group in question should be ashamed of themselves. File them under the heading "Quilt Police", and avoid them like the plague.
Just letting you know I read this and I can't imagine... So not the vibe I'd expect from our quilting community.
Thank you for shedding some light on an issue that is really affecting the generosity of quilters. I have been quilting for over 30 years but live in an area with no designer fabric. I am too nervous to donate anything or join many swaps because I cannot provide the "name brand" fabric. As for buying fabric at Walmart (or whatever your discount store is)....if that is all that is available....I say covered with a quilt made with love beats bare on the street every cold night of the year. Our Walmart carried (no longer carries any fabric) many of the same fabrics that Joanne's did, at least in our area. My babies and my best friend are covered with "no name" brand fabric and they are loved above all, with the work of my hands. After sewing for this long you can feel if fabric has a good hand or not and use good judgement when purchasing it. But I am reserved to share the work of my hands by this very type of criticism.
There is no excuse for hurting someone's feelings and using "style" as a reason to reject someone is just trying to cover up the cruelty. Nice matters...always has and always will. Blessings, marlene
Amen sister! The heart is still in it, and that's all that should matter!
Wow, you've really knocked my socks off. I actually went to the flickr group in question and had a look at the admin. Hmmmm...makes me wonder.
You go girl!! I totally agree... Pish tosh to them I say.
I'm in a modern quilt guild and overheard some one say 'she shouldn't be sharing that, it's not done with modern fabric and it looks yucky'. I turned around and gave her a look, was too shocked to say anything. I'm always so surprised what comes out of people's mouths ~ good for you to say what you think about the conduct of others.
Hear, hear. I left a small guild after attending an executive meeting and discovered that two charity quilts made by our nearly blind, 92 year old member were not included in our pile to be donated to the battered women's shelter 'because it would be too embarrassing to put our guild's label on the back'....WHAT??? I was so angry, I started to cry. I just couldn't believe it. Imagine how our sweet quilt maker would have felt to know that had been spoken? I reminded everyone that a woman and her children that have been abused by their husband and father are not going to care if their quilt has a few puckers in the back, or a crooked binding. Then I resigned.
Very well said.
I was so saddened to hear that someone was turned away like this. I completely agree with your motto about quilting without obligation and I agree with your sentiments exactly.
Thank you for speaking up for those of us who have experienced quilting rejection. It's very hurtful to be basically told you're not good enough and crushes your self confidence. I used to be a member of several internet charity quilt groups. This was quite a few years ago when the majority of them were on yahoogroups. (I know I'm dating myself.) I loved making those blocks. It gave me a great feeling to contribute. Well, I joined another group - as if 4 or 5 weren't enough for me - and they were truly the Quilt Police!!! I was told my "style" didn't gel with the rest of the group. It crushed my spirit - totally. I know it wasn't the fabric I was using as I had purchased it from the group owner's shop. It was apparently my work. This hurt me so deeply that I dropped out of everything and quit sewing for several years. I had a lot of things to deal with in my personal life like a husband with a brain injury and an autistic son. The quilting groups were supposed to be fun and therapeutic for me. Most were - but that one bad apple.....well you know the rest. The point of my novel here is the leaders of these groups surely know there are quilters from beginners to expert. Don't they remember when they were beginners too??? I don't know anyone who came out of the womb sewing perfect 1/4" seams, perfect points, etc. It's a learning process. Maybe they should have several levels of quilters (beginner, intermediate, expert, etc.) within the group so everyone who wants to contribute can do so. I don't know but since people don't know what others are going through in their real lives, they need to be very gentle with their words if not their actions. (Sorry this is so long but I thought about it all last night and much of the day.)
All I can say is Bravo Jennifer for being a leader of all things nice and a defender of everyone's contributions!
I am discouraged to learn that people who are doing such a good thing as quilting for charity can be so thoughtless and mean spirited. Thank goodness I haven't met anyone like that. I agree with all the comments above, and specially with the remark about not knowing what others are going through. So true. It's a lesson to us all to think before we speak or write, and consider the feelings of the recipient.
Exclusionary and elitist when making charity quilts? Unbelievable and oh, so sad. Makes one wonder about the members of that group -- after all, they're not being very charitable in their dealings with fellow quilters!
Margaret's Hope Chest - GreaT charity of choice!
Blessings from West Michigan
After reading the comment above (about having no "openings" in the "bee"), I have to say that I would think that if you as a group were really trying to impact positively the most people possible, there would be an unlimited amount of quilters accepted. So I applaud you for "calling a spade a spade"...that took guts. And I am a huge fan now. Thanks for doing the right thing, even when it was difficult. Because difficult decisions are usually the most important ones. Now you can throw your support behind MHC...as will I.
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